By the end of middle school, one in eleven students are clinically depressed; by the end of high school that number rises to two out of ten. Many more youth have high levels of sub-clinical depression. Often these children do poorly in school, don’t get along well with others, are anxious, and may have behavioral problems that lead to substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and even suicide. Depression often recurs later in life meaning that youth who are depressed growing up are more likely to experience depression as adults. As parents, we hope to raise children who will be ready to face and overcome the difficulties that life can bring. What can we do increase our children’s positive mental health as they navigate through life?
We can learn a lot about depression-proofing our youth from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy teaches skills for handling day-to-day stressors and challenges and is an effective treatment for depression and relapse prevention. It makes sense that introducing some of its key components in our children’s upbringing will result in more resilient youth. CBT focuses on building emotional awareness and explains the link between our thoughts and feelings and ultimately our actions. We can help our children identify their thinking style (is it positive or negative) and develop the flexibility to consider alternatives ways of looking at life situations. We can teach them to challenge their own negative thinking and put their experiences into a more healthy perspective.
All children are strengthened and benefit from developing resiliency and can be taught adaptive skills that will help them throughout their lives. Here’s just one example of how negative thinking can result in on-going negative outcomes: a child receives a low grade on a math test, the child tells him/herself, “I can’t do math; I’m stupid”, then the child becomes sad and stops studying math. This is how the cycle begins, and it’s not likely this child will do well in math in the future unless new, more positive thoughts replace the current self-talk.
We can encourage our children to engage in pleasant activities and teach them positive social skills. This can be done by not only setting a good example, but also by using life’s “classroom” to point out and discuss the consequences and benefits of how others use their social skills. Real-life examples are powerful teaching tools, and they are all around us. When our children are caught up in negative thinking, we can give them a more positive perspective to consider and teach them these simple steps of problem-solving: define the problem, think about what’s causing the problem, think of difference ways the problem could be solved, pick the solution that seems most likely to work, try it, and then talk about the outcome. If the problem wasn’t solved, consider what’s been learned and just go through the process again.
Resilient children have strong problem-solving and coping skills. They are more assertive and can think more creatively. They are better able to regulate and control their emotions and can “change the channel” in their minds to consider more healthy perspectives. Positive mental health and well-being is important in and of itself and helps our young people prepare for adult life.